We finish today our series of interviews with teacher Irene Álvarez, with whom we have been talking about the possibilities that parents have to find someone to take care of our children while we work. Today we are going to address the alternatives to kindergarten: grandparents, day mothers and nannies, analyzing the advantages and disadvantages of each option.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of mothers by day?
Mothers of the day are a magnificent option that already works in other countries and that in Spain begins to be seen in some communities.
The main advantage of mothers by day is that they offer the child a family, home environment. Day mothers welcome 3 or 4 children maximum for each caregiver, which guarantees greater attention of the child with respect to a nursery.
And the disadvantages?
The main disadvantage is that there is not always a network near where you live (in Andalusia for example there is not in all communities) and on the other hand as I have said, they do not usually welcome many children as a caregiver so that you may not have a “place " In addition, there is still no legal framework that includes legislation to act as a mother during the day, which can lead to legal loopholes that, in the event of an incident, lead us to a bad experience.
How to prevent these disadvantages if we opt for the mother by day?
To avoid that we should be informed of what training the caregiver has, if she is registered in social security and visit what will be the home of our little one to see if she meets the minimum safety standards when having a baby in House.
And what opinion do you have about hiring a babysitter?
Babysitters are an alternative almost as old as mothers. The nanny as they were called before and the nurses have always existed although they have not always enjoyed a good reputation. The punctual babysitter, who comes home because you have a dinner or an event is usually a student who takes the opportunity to “take off some skinny things” but if you really want to hire a babysitter you should do a thorough investigation of the person in question so you don't get surprises.
Tell us the advantages and disadvantages of this option?
As advantages we could highlight that they are in an environment that is familiar to the child (his house) which will cause him to be calmer in addition to not having to travel to take him anywhere like in the case of daycare or mother by day. On the other hand, if the babysitter is trustworthy, after a while an intimate relationship will be established with her that will lead the child to see her as a member of her family circle which will encourage that staying in her care is not a problem and we As parents, he offers us the peace of mind of being a well-known person who knows how our family works. In the disadvantages for me the clearest is to let a strange care of your child in your own home. However prepared she may be, however qualified and professional she may be, she is still a stranger to whom you give your son and your house.
Grandparents can be the best caregivers or a source of problems, right?
Grandparents are, in principle, the best caregivers.
Grandparents have taken care of us and have experience to do so and time to devote to the child. In addition, the condition of grandfather is not the same as that of father and therefore, they will do things that they did not do with us when they educated us, because their function now is not to educate but to act as grandparents. The problem comes, for example when the "vision" of parenting is different and there is a conflict between what grandparents and parents think. In that case we do not feel safe in leaving the child with the grandparents because we believe that they will be "rude", that they will transmit teachings that do not go with us. I will tell you my personal story. I thought so. I did not leave my daughter with my mother if it was not necessary and I always did it with great anxiety about what I was going to convey. My mother's beliefs are traditional, behavioral and have nothing to do with my vision of parenting in attachment. However, with almost three years my daughter stays with her grandmother when she plays (I don't leave her much because we don't need it, really) and she is not "conditioned" at all. Children adapt to the environment in which they live and are able to learn and understand that in each house, that each person around them is in a different way and take advantage of what each one offers. My daughter has a lot of fun with her grandmother. They sing, play, paint ... and nothing happens. She knows that at home the rules are ones, things are done in a certain way and at the grandmother's house of others. When I don't like something, I tell my mother and explain why, but my daughter knows how to differentiate perfectly without problem. For me it is more important that there is a family bond, that you enjoy what the grandmother offers you than the possible "behaviorisms" that can instill in you.
We greatly appreciate teacher Irene Álvarez is interviewing in which we have analyzed in three deliveries nurseries, children's adaptation and other alternatives that we can value when we need to leave our young children in the care of other people, always thinking about what will be best for them.
