Are you the oldest, the middle child, the youngest? The order in which, by chance, we were born influences in some way our personality and our way of relating. The same happens with our children, to whom being the firstborn, the medium or the small determines their role in the family.
We will talk how the order of birth of children influences their personality and what is the best way to educate each of them, so that they do not feel limited by the place that has touched them.
Each child is unique
Whether you have two or nine children, the most frequent thing is to believe that giving all children the same and to the same extent is the most fair. But treating and educating your children alike may not be the best strategy, since each child is unique and adapting to the needs of each one individually can be a more appropriate way to raise them.
Regardless of the place they occupy in the family, everyone has their own personality. It is important focus on the differences that make each child unique, help them highlight their skills and reinforce their weaknesses, without pigeonholeing them.
In Babies and more When a child is born, the older brother grows suddenlyHave you started to think what each one would be like if you were born in a different order? We usually pay more attention to the older than the second and the youngest learns a lot from his older brothers.
In "Free yourself from your place of birth" the writer and popular science scientist Elsa Punset invites us to experience life from another place, to break with that stigma. And a good way to put it into practice is through our children. Let's do the paper change exercise. How would you treat the oldest if he were the second, and the smallest if he were the oldest? Of course, you don't have to have three children (it's an example). The same applies if you have two as seven children.
Birth order
Like Elsa Punset, also Dr. Kevin Leman, a psychologist and author of "The Birth Order Book", believes there are a direct relationship between the personality of an individual and the order of birth.
But of course, it is not an exact science. It is not a mold that suits all families. Each family has its particular circumstances (what happens when there is more than one middle child?), Each individual has their personality traits and of course, not everyone has the same parents, therefore restricting personality to the order in which it was born is a mistake. We talk about generalized features, characteristics that have been identified by experts according to the place of birth.
In Babies and more Nine tips to avoid brother's jealousy when the newborn comes homeThe oldest son
The firstborn usually achieves everything that is proposed and chooses professionals in which he can stand out. He strives for success. He is used to being admired and praised, his achievements are recognized and he assumes it naturally.
He likes games and professions where he can stand out. He likes to be the center of his parents' attention. It is leader, competitive.
"The firstborn are the first in everything ... and they are the ones who decide the height of the bar," says Leman, who adds that most presidents in the United States have been firstborn or only children.
The expectations that parents put on the first child do not put them on others. Thus, tend to be more responsible, perfectionist and orderlyWell, they don't want to disappoint.
As parents, we should learn to control the pressure and expectations we place on our older children. Teach them that nothing happens to be wrong, that they don't have to be perfect and that we want them above it.
The middle child
"The role of the second is opposite to that of the older brother, especially if it is the same sex," says Punset. Everything he does is to be different from the older one and usually goes more unnoticed.
He enjoys less admiration and attention, so they learn before to fend for themselves.
Precisely because it is between the oldest and the smallest, the middle one is usually the peacemaker of the family, according to Leman. This makes them develop greater social and negotiation skills, and make them more loyal in their relationships.
With the seconds we usually make a few mistakes. As parents, we should make the medium feel that he is as important as his brothers. Celebrate their achievements, accompany them in their first times and dedicate exclusive time.
In Babies and more The fun photo on the beach of the 17 cousins of the family in order of birthThe little son
Normally, the little one needs to get attention, so it tends to be more creative, rebellious and fun than the other brothers.
They are pranksters, cunning and know how to get out of complicated situations. According to Leman, "young children are manipulative, social, outgoing, they sell very well ... As children they always get their way and know how to win people's favor."
Parents relax and tend to be more permissive with the little ones. We are much less strict with them than we have been with their older brothers.
How is it at home? Does it correspond in your case? Do you think that the order of birth influences the personality of the children? Do you think that as parents, we should do something to free them from that order?
