Habiba and the little Soul are still separated. But I know it won't be for long, my heart tells me, my hope in the strength of the united people. We are all Habiba!
I am going to review everything that has happened since our previous entry, because, against the cliff of insensitivity, mothers and fathers, doctors and thousands of people around the world have joined them who are giving them their support.
Forbidden breastfeeding
And yes, it's true, breastfeeding is prohibitedWhen he was at the center for mothers is his word against those who claim otherwise. But I will show you that they also lie in this, that they put all kinds of obstacles to stop breastfeeding on demand and to sleep with her in the same bed, as so many mothers do we make happy.
A couple of days ago Habiba went to see her little girl at the center where she is hospitalized. When the girl hugged her mother, from whom, without being able to understand it, has been traumaticly separated, she went to take her breast, they shouted at them that they could not do that.
Lactation is prohibited for children in shelters, although it is known that their mothers never mistreated them, and that breastfeeding is a wonderful way to recover the healthy emotional bond that, in this case, was not damaged until they were separated. If Alma received a bottle and separated from her mother, it would be frightening to suffer both, not to say. But the unquestionable fact is that today she is forbidden to breastfeed her daughter, and, as the reports show, breastfeeding on demand was prevented at the center for mothers.
The helplessness of a mother
However, breastfeeding is not the only thing that should concern us with this case. The young Habiba came to ask for help. He entered a foster home and he was helpless.
There, they say, he did not adapt well to the routines, he was breastfeeding in a “chaotic” way, he did not follow the guidelines of some maternal skills courses, he did not take the girl clean as the rules indicated. But it is never mentioned that he mistreated her, that the girl was unattended or malnourished. It is true that Habiba has suffered a lot, has no family or financial resources, that breastfeeding demand or not following the general rules of parenting is not understood. But no one has proven that she is a bad mother, nor that she harmed her daughter.
No psychiatrist examined her, despite this the Madrid Institute for Children and the Family said that her behavior was "unstable." However, psychiatrist Ibone Olza and other reputed professionals have intervened in favor of the mother and her maternal abilities. What was the problem then?
Perhaps the hardest part of this case is that, if you are unprotected and you are not submissive, if you have no money, no work, no supports and you do not accept the norms that others want to impose on you, if you insist on sleeping in the same bed or giving the breast on demand, if you do not want to leave it in the nursery, if you ask for help from Social Services, you are in danger that, while you leave the place where you expected to be protected and without having warned you, they take your baby and do not let you or see him in a week.
The suffering of a baby
A one-year-old baby barely, who has slept stuck to his mother and continues to be breastfed, no matter how much his mother does not accept to work from within and separate from her, he loves her madly, is his reference, his universe, his home. Breaking that union, if there is no evidence that it does not exist or that the girl is in danger, is crazy, monstrous, painful and will leave that girl a life-long trauma
Little Soul suffers. The testimonies that we can read in the Facebook group of people who have spoken with her are shocking. He has lost weight, he is sad. Can you imagine what it is like to be separated from your mother and stay with strangers who have many children in your care?
Her mother loves her, a citizen of her, only needed help, even if there were skills to improve this should be done by people with sensitivity and communication skills. The truth, if what bothered them is that I did not take the girl made a brush or that I did not want to follow upbringing guidelines that I sure hate myself ... are we facing a case of institutional abuse and incorrect decisions?
System roll
It is not the first time that these things happen, even if they are specific cases, refusing to believe that these things are possible would be to want to close our eyes. Children separated without real cause, families who lose their children for economic reasons while paying others to care for them, mistreatment in juvenile centers, injustices, the bureaucracy roll that covers errors, political interests that prevent cases of Injustice be resolved not to damage the system image.
The documentation that has been delivered by the Madrid Institute for Children and the Family concludes, in its report, parts that have been made public by the representatives of the affected. Habiba has fallen victim to the system roller. Judge for yourselves:
"Habiba has a hard time responding adequately to Alma's needs and is not aware of the inadequacy of certain risk and neglect behaviors."“The feeding, hygiene and sleep (Alma's) guidelines are not adequate:… The schedules and the type of feeding are chaotic” and “use breastfeeding as a pacifier and toy, offering her breast at the moment when the girl cries and letting her take it whenever she wants, regardless of the moment and the context in which this happens (offices, corridors). ”
“He offers her the purees they prepare at the residence, but also other solid foods that are inappropriate for her age (from which she is eating). During the weekends, as she has to take care of making the fruit porridge, most of the time she doesn't give it to her (she breastfeeds her) ”
"It was tried to regularize breastfeeding and limit feeding times, as it did not seem possible raised the possibility of stop breastfeeding ...". “… Continued breastfeeding. They were given pacifiers, but he didn't use them either. ”
“He doesn't have adequate sleep patterns. From the first moment he did not want the girl to sleep in the crib and lay her down with her in bed. Use the crib to leave things and toys and rarely to leave the girl ... "
“Habiba is very affectionate with Alma, uses physical contact and verbal expression as a means of communication. The girl is constantly looking for her mother's visual reference and a certain anxious fear of separation has been observed. ”
Anything to add that demonstrates that the reasons are applicable to so many mothers who raise their children by breastfeeding on demand, as recommended by organizations such as the World Health Organization? Is it a case of lactophobia, ignorance or imposition of denatured breeding criteria completely contrary to the needs of a baby of that age that the mother, consequently, has opposed? I think so. But I don't believe it alone.
The prosecution
The Madrid Treasury He intervened explaining that he thought he will challenge the withdrawal of Habiba's daughter because he considered that she was not sufficiently motivated after hearing several testimonies and studying the documentation. They could see that there were no serious reasons that justified the great harm that a baby and his mother entails abruptly separating them if there are no clear signs that the child is at risk. But soon after, the chief prosecutor claimed that he had acted correctly. Does it seem to me alone that they do not want fear to spread among those who may need help if it can be seen that they can take your children away without forceful reasons?
His lawyer explains how his daughter was taken away
Nacho de la Mata, Habiba's lawyer, declared how Habiba's daughter was separated from her without her knowledge, prior warning, or consent, without notification, or legal procedures involved. He tells us that Habiba left the girl in the IMMF nursery and in the meantime, they took her away and notified her that she should vacate the center since it was a place for mothers and she no longer had a daughter. That incredible, that atrocious, that illegal, inhuman and infinitely cruel. Is there any justification for this, these people are the ones who protect the weak, with that cruelty?
Prestigious pediatricians support Habiba
Throughout the following week, prestigious pediatricians They have examined Habiba and affirm that what they have seen in nothing is close to what the Madrilenian Institute for Minors and the Family affirms. Three members of the Spanish Association of Pediatrics They have issued a report on the reasons that led the IMMF to withdraw Habiba's custody of their daughter. It is neither more nor less of Josefa Aguayo, Head of the Department of Neonates of the Virgen del Rocio Hospital in Malaga, M Carmen Pallás Alonso, Head of the Neonatology Service of the Hospital 12 de Octubre in Madrid and Adolfo Gómez Papí, Doctor of the Pediatric Service of the University Hospital of Tarragona "Joan XXIII".
We can read your full report on the page of Alba Lactancia but here I reproduce its conclusions, hopeful, confident that they will be heard.
The arguments put forward in the report to which we have had access not only do not justify that Habiba's maternal relationship with her daughter can be detrimental to Alma, but also show that Alma was perfectly fed, cared for and loved.The decision to separate Alma from Habiba is harmful to both. For Alma, because she is subjected to excessive stress, the stress of separation, for which she is not yet prepared, and is deprived of the best food and the best care she can receive, abruptly cutting off a secure attachment relationship with his mother.
Stress has physical (increased risk of infection, weight loss) and psychological consequences.
The longer the separation lasts, the greater the damage inflicted on Alma.
Such decision should be revoked as soon as possible to minimize the damage caused. Rectify is wise.
Carlos Gonzalez also supports Habiba
Too pediatrician Carlos González He has spoken clearly, we can read the complete letter reproduced, for example, in the blog Maternal Love, but I reproduce some fragments that reveal the deficit of the child protection policy and the most dangerous attitudes of the institutions:
At no time has there been a conviction, a breakup, a solution of continuity in our childcare system. Thirty years later, those who after the war had kidnapped children of "reds", or other younger professionals, disciples or subordinates of the former, kidnapped other children for adoption. They were not monsters, they simply believed in possession of superior knowledge and superior right. They "knew" that some children, especially children of poor women or teenage or single mothers, were going to be miserable; and therefore "could" separate them from their mothers to find them a good family.That required the complicity or silence of hundreds or thousands of professionals, who would hardly have been able to fall asleep every night if they had not been able to convince themselves that they were justified, that everything was for the good of the child.
And again, thirty years later, those same professionals or other younger ones who have been his disciples and his subordinates continue to separate the children from their mothers, unscrupulous, without hesitation, without regrets. Because they still believe that children are better away from their mothers.
Habiba's case is far from unique. I have seen them with my own eyes, I have spoken with their lawyers, fellow pediatricians have explained their frustration when a poor mother rejects the idea of going to ask for help to social services "no, that's where they take away the children.
Other professionals in psychology and psychiatry support Habiba
There are more testimonies and reports in favor of Habiba's important specialists in psychiatry and psychology. The psychiatrist Ibone Olza, who attended Habiba in the emergency room when she was separated from her daughter and who has continued to treat her later, warns that “the maintained separation of the mother and forced weaning represent a very serious offense that puts the girl in a situation of high psychic risk and vital. "
In addition, the psychologist Gabriela Bianco, expert in Transcultural and Migration Psychology and Perinatal Psychology has noted that the social workers who have attended this mother and this girl “have no minimum training in psychotherapy or breastfeeding, or knowledge of the psychosocial phenomena of the experience migratory. ” Joins them José Luis Linaza, Professor of Evolutionary Psychology and Education at the Autonomous University of Madrid, has also expressed that "the interest of the child that guarantees our laws is not prevailing."
The Office of the Ombudsman
Do we need more tests? I think few. And attending, finally, after receiving all these reports, the Office of the Ombudsman She has requested that the girl be recognized in a pediatric hospitalization unit because the situation is worrying and the reports determine that such a traumatic separation can cause serious damage to her physical and emotional health. They also ask that both resources be urgently offered so that they can live together since this seems to be a priority with the reports received. The full document can be read in the support blog We are all Habiba.
We are all Habiba!
Virtual and face-to-face concentrations, vigils, complaint letters, mobilization has been enormous, from breastfeeding groups and from parenting blogs. They have become a clamor that is no longer possible to silence and that shows that we cannot look back at injustices, that we have strength. We can follow everything on a page created for them: We are all Habiba!
They already have a beautiful song that has been composed by singer-songwriter Rafa Sánchez. A song designed to cradle the dream of this scared girl. A song that I hope will soon accompany her again in her mother's arms. It's really beautiful. A song to motherly love. I leave a fragment of it, and you can read the complete song on the SINA blog. I can't hear her without crying and crying.
I'm sure to scream We are all Habiba! We are going to get Alma to return to her mother and even to clear responsibilities if it is proven that she has not acted well. You are not alone sister Habiba. You are not alone. You will have Alma by your side again. But can we compensate them for suffering and heal the wounds that have left these weeks of pain?
Video: Habiba : Bappi Lahiri - Top International Disco Hits Pop Album Songs. Audio Jukebox (May 2024).
