Suppose we decide that using cheeks is not so bad, that it is a simple fashion to claim for children the same treatment and respect that is required of any adult. But beyond the unqualifiable it is to justify physical punishment as an educational method or accept that the adult use violence simply because it is unable to control itself, because it is violence we put ourselves as we put ourselves, against a child unable to defend himself, the question of What we will talk about today is the complete futility of this practice. And is that the whipping is useless.
The scourge can modify an inappropriate behavior of the child immediately, that cannot be denied, if we slap our child, we may cease the action he was taking, or we may have to give him two or three more. But the point is that separating it delicately, getting between it and the object we don't want it to touch, or holding it without hitting it, will have the same effect.
In addition, although we can immediately avoid this behavior, what does not achieve a scourge is that the behavior changes in the long term. That is, children will understand that something is dangerous, inappropriate or unpleasant to others through the example, the internalization of behaviors and empathic explanations, not by means of a cheek.
In fact, what the cheek teaches is that they hit you if you do something, not the reason why that should not be done. It teaches that the licit to hit who does something we do not like especially if we are bigger and stronger. And incidentally, it teaches to do things hiddenly, not to trust, to deceive if we do something so that they don't catch us. Come on, I correct myself, the scourge does teach things, but all bad.
Curiously, children who are corrected by cheek often repeat attitudes rejected by parents, increase even if intensity and gradually become immune to punishment, responding only to screaming, scolding or whipping more and more powerful.
Failure to achieve obedience, parents, likewise, will feel overwhelmed more easily, having the temptation to increase the intensity of the blow or punishment, "to see if the child does so." Whipping is a path that is difficult to get out of once it begins. If we make the child obey physical punishment as he grows or ignores the slightest used at the beginning, we can be forced to use more force each time. And that is not a good idea.
Yes the child's behavior is not modified by whipping it is useless to go to them. I have not found that children stop hitting their little brother or painting on the walls if they are whipped for that reason, they learn it long before children who are educated in empathy.
And there is more. Whipping is a huge energy expenditure for both parents and children, it exhausts them emotionally, it hurts. But it is that besides being a lousy example of conflict resolution, is useless. It would be better to spend that effort in anticipating complicated circumstances, to use the word, to study the natural characteristics of the evolution of child psychology and different parenting techniques. That gives many better results, that's for sure.
The question is not to blame ourselves if we have ever used a cheek beyond the circumstances, or reject our parents who used them, the question is not to resort to a method of education that is useless.
Surely there will be those who feel the desire to tell some anecdote to justify how good a good scourge came to their children to stop doing something wrong. The truth, I doubt that nobody, nobody, learn that something is wrong if it is for fear that his parents reject him or hit him. And if we talk about the mild scourges that I usually see given to children, as I say, I have never seen that they serve to correct that behavior more than at that moment. Quite the opposite. Rather, I know that the child will repeat the action or continue to ignore his parents when they ask or indicate something, responding to them with threats of giving him in the ass and other things that I prefer or write. And is that it is no use whipping.
I return to the example. Everybody we want to teach our children to behave respectfully, not to violate at least strong, to solve their conflicts with negotiation and empathy. Above all we want to teach them to speak and not to hit when they have a problem. But we also know that children, as they really learn, are not listening to what they should do, but seeing us as we do.
Therefore, knowing that our example is paramount in your education, show them that we lose control, that we use the scourges to impose ourselves, that we don't know how to lead a conflict without using violence, is the worst way to teach them anything. If we go to the scourge what they learn is that the strongest have the right to use their hands and strength to impose their criteria and that it is lawful to lose control.
We, their parents, are the mirror in which they look, the example they will follow in their life. Spanking is useless And besides, do we really want to teach them what the scourges teach?
