The baby needs physical contact, it is the food of his heart, as vital as the food or care. For your emotional well-being and even for your health, having all the physical contact you request is essential. Being in arms is happiness, at all, in capital letters.
There are babies who cry a lot if they are in their crib. They only calm down when we take them in their arms and cry again if we leave them again. Even seemingly asleep, they wake up resuming crying if we leave them in the crib to keep them asleep, which I call the cradle syndrome with spikes.
We usually hear that you have to leave them in the crib to get used to them and that if we take them in their arms when they ask for it, they tease us. Nothing is further from reality, babies cry and ask for arms because emotionally need that physical contact To feel safe and loved.
There are no explanations that are worth them, they are not prepared to understand that they are safe in the crib. Their instinct makes them call us and recover serenity with our contact.
The feelings of the mothers
The mothers Sometimes they feel overwhelmed by the constant call of the child, but if they listen to their instincts, they can reconcile with that need and enjoy it. Using a shoulder bag or a handkerchief to bring the child in contact with your body can help you recover the possibility of moving more freely and is helpful in many cases.
However, that feeling they may have is not bad. Mothers, especially recent moms, often feel the constant judgment about their motherhood flutter over them. That is why I want to say that even that need for space is not judgable and we have to accept it, but without letting it harm our son.
Let's understand and love each other. Women sometimes judge each other harder than anyone. And I want to say with this that recovering the memory of ancestral customs will help us to better understand our needs and those of our babies.
Today's mothers are alone. At home, overwhelmed by motherhood, she dislodges her own self-concept, beaten by conflicting feelings. They were independent women and no one ever warned them about that crazy and passionate love for their son or about the permanent need the child has for them.
Think of the mothers of always, our ancestors. They were not alone. Their mothers, sisters and comadres supported them, accompanied them and took care of them. They helped them take care of their son. They took turns so that they could recover and also taught them to carry the child on their back while doing any activity.
To the extent possible, reproducing these optimal breeding conditions will help a lot so that the mother does not feel overwhelmed by this permanent physical contact. The father can also carry the baby when he is at home and that will reinforce his feelings of tenderness, make him feel closer to his son and also understand his partner better.
Being able to find support from other mothers with experience and willing to collaborate will also be beneficial for the recent mother. The help of friends and family or foster groups offer that necessary support.
The importance of physical contact
He physical contact constant of which the baby manifests the need is thus simpler. And if we understand and accept that it is not a whim or a blackmail we will be much better willing to offer it.
When the baby demands arms and physical contact, he does not ask us for something unreasonable, he asks us for something he needs. For him, feeling our body is well-being. The most natural and instinctive thing is to be supported by your mother or another adult with whom you feel attached, since you cannot feel content or protected by anything else. She does not know that our houses are safe, she is still a primate child unable to fend for herself, unable to protect herself or be safe.
The mother, her body, her smell, her chest, her gaze, her voice and her caresses are her natural habitat. For the baby being in arms is happiness.
