You get home from work. Your partner is preparing dinner while your child "plays kitchen". You grab the little one and lift him in the air while you give him a thousand kisses on the face, you make pedreretas on the neck and step tickle on the sobaquillos. You go to your partner and ... where do you kiss him? Will it be wrong if we kiss on the mouth in front of the child? Is it appropriate or are we showing you something you shouldn't see?
There are couples who feel shame to kiss in front of their children. There are people for whom it is something that should not be done. Some people think that the bedroom is the place to show affection as a couple when they have children ... To all of them, please read this (until the end).
Let's start with some questions: Do you kiss your children? And your brothers, parents or friends? What is a kiss? What is it for?
Kisses are just one of the ways to show affection that we have agreed socially in our culture (and many others). Yes, affection. When we kiss we are giving love, care, showing the other person that we care and that we love her. What's wrong with that?
Kiss me a lot (nothing happens)
No, showing affection to the couple in front of the children is not bad, on the contrary, it is something absolutely healthy, both for us as a couple and for them, our children.
From what they see, from the model we transmit at home with our way of behaving, children learn what and how relationships should be. If we kiss (with love), if we hug and want in front of them, we are doing something wonderful: show them what a healthy relationship is like. And isn't that what we want them to have in the future?
Let's keep in mind that they will be exposed to many other models, on TV, in the movies, on the street ... Models that are not so healthy (sexist, abusive, aggressive ...). So we better love each other a lot in front of them, don't you think?
On the other hand, when dad and mom are not well, when they argue, when they are tense, children notice it right away. They notice and suffer. Well, the same happens, but in the opposite direction, when dad and mom are great, when they love each other and show it to them.
Seeing how we show affection as a couple, kids quickly understand that we are well, what makes them feel safe, calm and happy.
Where is the limit?
The limit would mark him moving from an affective behavior (of a show of affection) to an erotic and / or sexual one, which would not be so appropriate for the eyes of the smallest of the house. The kids have no ability to understand the erotic component, this one belongs to the adult world.
In this way, all those behaviors that cross that line (for example, kissing with tongue, with passion ...) we better leave it for when (oh, miracle) the children have fallen asleep or the grandparents have been wonderfully generous and have stayed with them a while.
They got us!
If they saw us doing some behavior that we consider inappropriate (these things happen), it is important that we talk to them and explain to them, because everything we do not say will fill it with their imagination and ... Well, to know what they invent!
On the other hand, and this is important, it makes no sense to lie about it or treat it as something secret and dirty, it is not the message we want to convey. What we want is for them to have a healthy relationship both with their own body and with others, so let's treat these things naturally.
Have we been "caught"? Well, we will explain what they have seen, without problem, without drama, adapting the language to their age. An example? Look, we were doing something that adults do when they are comfortable with another person, with their partner, which is something we like because it is a way to enjoy and show affection when we are older.
If we treat it naturally, they will surely not give it more importance, they will understand it perfectly without giving it many more turns. Children are like that, things we think they will make a world of later pass, and details that seem anecdotal to us are enormous.
If we make this a drama, if we focus on it, they will think that something happens, so it is not the best strategy.
At the couple level it is important to show affection
When we become parents our days seem to have fewer hours, we don't have time to watch as many movies as before, to read as before ... or to be in a relationship as before. Yes, before becoming parents it seemed that you didn't have to work hard to find moments to be a couple, right? But now… Now having time for us can be an impossible mission.
But nevertheless, it is vital that we take care of the couple, that we pamper our relationship. Precisely because of those “less appetizing” aspects that accompany fatherhood (lack of time, fatigue, etc.) it is more worthwhile than ever to pamper our relationship, to be great, to be a team and to face everything in the best way Possible: with love.
So no, don't stop kissing with your partnerOn the contrary, festival of kisses! Grandmother kisses, piquitos, on the face, on the lips, on the shoulder when passing. And not only kisses, show affection is wonderful and there are a thousand and one ways to do it: shake hands, hold your waist, caress each other's neck as they pass by your side at the table, laugh together ... You want and love them. Showing love never hurts.
Photos: Pexels.com; Pixabay.com
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