Poop, poop, poop, cuquita, cacadilla, plasta, plastilla, plastón, zurullo, shit (sorry) ... So we could go on for a while. No matter what you call the product and how much you swear not to talk about it in the breaks for the office coffee, the queue to pick up the children or the super, you will talk and not only as a mere spectator, but that With the passage of time you will become an eminence in your child's gifts.
I confess that I am one of the many who swore not to be like those other fathers and mothers, whose only topic of conversation with the rest of the world were my son's poops, be they fathers or civilian personnel, who clueless sneak in between a conversation. And I swear that I have tried with all my strength, but more than once (and two, three, why tell them ...) I have found myself giving everything as a speaker in a gallows and that we recognize it, There are not many topics as varied and interesting as baby poop. And if you don't believe me, ask pediatricians.
We could say that such an unpleasant topic would not give much development, but nothing is further from reality and that within this theme there are some sub-sections by way of the epigraphs of a book, among which we have some more recurrent than others , for example the quantity, quality, smell and color I would say that they are the ones who maintain the weight of the conversation.
If you want to load your backpack of interesting conversation topics such as new dad or newbie mom, point to the following list of topics.
The quantity and frequency
If you are still new or new in the world of baby and pediatricians we will tell you that the how much and when It is one of the points to be treated in any professional consultation ... of course I am referring to what parents and neighbors will do to you at some point during the visit. Just stain the diaper (another way to call it that I had forgotten to add to the list) twice daily? Have you consulted the pediatrician? Because it's not normal, my ... (indicate any name on the dotted line) It was every hour, even when he didn't eat.
And it is at this point, when there is more than one parent in the room, where the competition of the "Well, mine": For mine every half hour, for mine five, for mine more ... (always more, do not forget)
The color
The color of the baby poop has been a subject of study by their parents for centuries and they have nothing to envy to that of any professor of Fine Arts, there are even those who are able to associate the color code with the state of the baby, whether or not he is sick, the virus he suffers and even the glycemic index. They say that an Eskimo is able to distinguish 30 different types of white, as there are mothers capable of distinguishing 150 types of ocher by simply opening a diaper.
The smell
We could say, using an easy joke, that this matter has noses. It is curious because here there is a strange phenomenon and it is that there is who is able to detect a diaper loaded from the other corner of the house and yet they are not able to detect it in the pediatrician's waiting room, chance or does it just happen to me my when is my review?
Complexity and form
This theme comes in when they are older and therefore we are already experts in colors and quantities. It is one more step, in a world that began to seem monotonous and boring with these amorphous poops and with a tendency to run running back up, finding something with a definite shape gives us a smile again.
Once our baby begins to ingest something other than milk and fruit porridge, that is, at the moment when the intake is more consistent food, a change in turn is made in the consistency of the diaper filling, both that sometimes we can know if there is a gift or not simply by observing the free height of our son's culete to the ground, if it looks like a Formula 1 or the car of the neighborhood macarra, that is, with "low suspension", is that bring a gift
From this point a whole new range of shapes and sizes appears on our horizon and of course a new topic of conversation.
The meconium Welcome to the disgusting part of the baby's world
The meconium are the first stools of the newborn, usually they are expelled in the first 48 hours of life and that is one of the first indicators of what is to come.
If you have never seen one, we can say that the experience is unforgettable. Once you open the diaper there will be no turning back, It will be a before and after in your life, but since it is so close to the before and after in your life that it is the birth of your child, we do not usually value it in its proper measure, it is clear that it has no comparison, of course, but it is certainly something that no matter how much You don't expect something like that to get out of that little and innocent little body and it makes you wonder if your son hasn't spent the last nine months digging in the Texas desert and brought you a can of oil as a gift.
So once you find it, arm yourself with patience, sponge and warm water, because between the inexperience and the viscosity index of the black paste you will have a good time cleaning.
Everything is to have a good topic to talk about when you return from the permit.
The first time you put your hand on it
I will not extend much, they are things that have happened to us all, especially when it comes to checking if the diaper is full or not. The laughs when you tell it the next day are assured, but better some tips not to put ... the leg.
When what is supposed to keep "that" inside, but not
Every container has a maximum capacity that if exceeded ends up causing the content to overflow and diapers are no exception. There are many factors that can cause these accidents (by calling them somehow), the time it took us to change the baby, how we placed the diaper, what he ate that day, the baby's posture, etc. The fact is that you find a pump in your hands that will require a display of contortion skills, especially by the baby, hand and stomach skills.
Every parent who has changed a diaper of those has hated the manufacturers of baby clothes, even if only a little, and that is when you find yourself surrounded by wipes and with a dirty baby to the ears, how to undress without staining even more It is a test worthy of the last survivor. Although there are also true experts in the field.
What if I put it as is in the washing machine? And there are times when the disaster is so great that what the logic dictates is to put the child as is, dressed and everything, in the shower.
Unsurpassed anecdote level.
When you are in public, you see your child's face and you know what comes next
Another very busy topic, the faces that your child puts when he is "working on it." Without waste.
You could not miss the Great Oracle of the 21st century in today's topic and it is that to see which father has not gone to the internet to see what that with what he has found in the diaper can mean.
How to get rid of the corpse?
What to do with the package once we have finished cleaning and above all, where to leave it without causing more damage is going to give you for an entire McGuiver season.
The morbid
Of course we can't forget the morbid, that feeling of want to know more about how the situation was resolved, that attraction that for some has the eschatological, is a bit to really feel like children again, laugh again at what makes us sick, are those small doses of masochism that we did not have since we were children. Because let's face it, talking about this is a bit disgusting no matter how perfect your child's bowel movements are.
