Recently I talked to you about the successes in the education of children that tell us that we are educating them well, but in the end I can't resist doing a review for the mistakes that parents, out of discontent, make and that we should be able to avoid.
I am convinced that most parents are able to educate our children by promoting their self-esteem, but not always, our own education has given us the knowledge and experiences necessary to achieve it. I leave these today three mistakes that I think parents should avoid and that they do not benefit our beloved children at all.
Paste
Hit the children It is still something normalized and defended by many. Many parents still believe that, provided they don't beat up, smack or whip, they can help their child learn to obey them in dangerous or annoying situations. However, the use of physical force is an aggression that, even if it is mild or spaced over time, causes children to suffer emotional distress, in addition to being something prohibited by law.
I know that a scourge is not the same as a beating. But when physical aggression is used, it is difficult to maintain a respectful line of education, the child is taught that violence resolves conflicts and makes them feel helpless.
If you are interested in Babies and more, we have dedicated many topics to the prevention of scourges and their consequences.
Blackmail
We have all been blackmailed on occasion of children and also, to convince the child to do something that we believe is beneficial for him or to meet social expectations, we have done so. But blackmail is a form of emotional violence, nothing comparable to explaining reasons and consequences, even worse than punishment.
When we try to force the will of a child by telling him that if he does not do it, it is bad, or we will not want it anymore, or he will go to hell we are using the emotional blackmail.
He emotional blackmail It is a very powerful form of manipulation in which close and emotional people threaten us, directly or indirectly, to punish us in some way if we do not do what they want.
Our children are going to make mistakes and even do really dangerous and incorrect things. But our love and support is not negotiable, precisely because they need to know that we love them despite their mistakes, in order to be sure that they will overcome them.
By using blackmail we are not transmitting the importance of their behavior change or the need for them to do something, but we are transmitting a sense of guilt and insecurity in themselves and in our love that has consequences even in the long term.
Compare them
Another of the frequent mistakes parents make, believing, possibly, that this will make their child want to overcome, is to use the comparisons between them or with other children.
No person is equal to another. Every child is different. We have the right to be recognized for what we are worth and for what we contribute, for our abilities and advances, not for what we do "worse" than the other.
Our children will make their own way, with our support, improving and being, in addition, unique and wonderful even if they are not as orderly, quiet, obedient, studious, open or hard-working athletes like others.
Reflecting on these mistakes and paying a little sure attention we manage to work on them and improve our skills as educators and offer children the environment of respect in which they will develop their abilities and be resilient people. Next week I will tell you more mistakes we make parents, that there are more, perhaps more subtle, but equally real.
