As we have said on other occasions, being a father or mother means becoming the target of family, friends, acquaintances and strangers, for good and for bad.
There is little talk about good, because it does not usually generate controversy, although it is also true that sometimes it is nice when someone comes up and tells you how handsome your child is, how funny he is, or when they say sweet things or They make funny stuff.
About the least good, because there is more talk, because it bothers that others give advice that parents have not asked for and more if the advice is contrary to what a mother is doing or thinks she is doing well. There is also a way to offer advice that helps increase the exasperation of mothers (and fathers if they are present), which is when people use children as an excuse to say what they want to convey to parents. You know, the typical "oops, you're already a little older to go in your arms, aren't you?"
Criticize that something remains
The reason for addressing the child and not the mother is clear: you want to say something that you know can hurt and through the child (who would act as interlocutor) it seems to be softer.
It is not the same to say to a child “hey, you are already a little older to go in arms, right?” With a smile on his mouth and letting go as a joke, than to tell the mother “is not it a bit older so you carry it in your arms? ”
If the person addresses the child, the mothers tend to be softer and even come back to respond through the child, answering how he would do it "already, but it is so good in mom's arms ...". If instead he turns to the mother, he will most likely receive something like "and what does it matter to you how I take my child?"
But children are not deaf
Children are not deaf, blind or foolish. If perhaps small or large. It is clear that if a person addresses an 8-month-old infant, they will receive little response from the child (maybe even cry), however, if the child is two or three years old, he is able to listen and process the information received.
I remember that on one occasion, talking about the positive things and the negative things about breastfeeding for a long time, a mother told me that for her the worst thing about breastfeeding her 3-year-old son was that sometimes she strangers approached to talk to him to tell him that he was older to breastfeed, with brush like "your mother is going to stay dry", "you're going to bite him" or "tell your mother to give you a good snack" and that He was having a really bad time breastfeeding his son in the street for fear that a new stranger would come to talk to his son.
That you disrespect because people like to talk more about the story is something that all parents are exposed to, but that they use the child to give the message is, according to the message that is given, quite petty.
I have heard people say "tell your mother to give you a ham sandwich, you will see how good", which according to the context can be funny, but I have also heard things like "tell your mother to feed you, it shows that you are hungry ”, when a baby cries with the fists in his mouth, that he is probably right, but that he could improve with a“ sorry, I do not try to get where they do not call me, but I get the feeling that I could being hungry, I tell you because when you put your fists it is usually that ”, to give an example of a message offered with more respect.
Has it ever happened to you?
It happened to us on one occasion that, carrying Aran in his arms, when she still had enough milk crust, the clerk of a furniture store said: “oops! Tell mom to put some lotion on your head to remove that, ”while stroking his head. At that time we could only let out a fake smile as a "thank you, maybe we will" (sometimes we just don't feel like answering).
And you?has it ever happened to you?
